Exploring patience in the context of my heart as a parent has been really interesting this month. Several aspects of this trait overlap for kids and parents. Often I need to wait until later for what I want now. Like last night when I was really tired from the responsibilities and behaviors of the day. It’s a solo bedtime night for me, and I still have some tasks I would like to finish before I go to bed.I could rush the kids through our routine to get to what I want faster OR I can wait till later for what I want and instead do one more snuggle and one more book. The similarities seem obvious…I need to demonstrate the behaviors I want to see in them. Then there is this interesting part. There is an aspect of patience for parents that is completely different from kids. There are things I want to see in my kids right now and I have to wait with hopeful expectation that those will come later. I shared about Generosity in this post. All my efforts and great parenting tactics cannot change the selfish heart of my kids into a generous heart. Only Jesus can do that. I must wait until He does that for what I want now.
What does it look like for us to wait on Jesus to do a work in our kids? It's not using one tactic after another thinking if you just find the right one you can make them different. It’s about our heart as a parent. We need to recognize the work Jesus has started in our kids - to know them well enough to see those things and to recognize God's hand in their life. The areas that frustrate us are not something for us to harp on in our kids. They are areas that need more cultivation. We are like farmers planting seeds of character in our kids. God will grow it and we get to take care of the soil. We can make sure our kids’ environment is the best for producing fruit. We must also pull the weeds that are trying to take over.
A couple weeks ago Paul came home from a conversation with some other men and shared something that caught his attention.It’s easy to look back and see the changes that have happened physically in our kids. These things are easy to remember and notice because they change our days. Ever have one of those moments where you stop and marvel at how different things are now than before? Like, “why are we so early for gymnastics today….oh because it used to take 30 minutes for me to get everyone’s shoes on, coats on and get them in the car and now they did it and it only took 10 mins to get out the door.” I find it more difficult to see the emotional or character growth that has happened in my kids because I am constantly seeing how far they have to go instead of where they have come from.
Paul and I really want to change this in our home. We are trying something new and want to invite you to join us. We are going to start using this printable to mark and remember the behavior of our kids and our own reactive responses. Then as they mature and we become less reactive, we can look back and see what God has done in our family. This is a simple sheet of paper with areas for you to fill in. I’m also going to start taking a photo after there has been growth in an area for my kids and build a photo wall in our living room. I want to have a visual reminder of where we were and what God has done in our family; the story He is writing. It will hold pictures of my kiddo’s smiling with their completed Lego after months of frustration over following directions and tiny pieces. I'll post a pic of brother and sister snuggled together watching cartoons after weeks of fighting over who gets to pick. Let’s start marking what God is doing and rejoicing with our kids over how we see God at work in their lives. How amazing would it be to build kids who are secure in a God who works and who have been trained to see Him at work.
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