Who will love me for me? Have you heard this song by JJ Heller? I heard it on the radio a couple days ago. It stirred several thoughts in me. I connected with the question, “Who will love me for me, not for what I have done or for what I’ll become?” I think we are all seeking to be loved and known and asking, “Who will love me for me?” Not because of my past achievements or what they hope I will be in weeks or months to come, but for my faults and inabilities today. Who will love me in my weaknesses and mistakes today or in my imperfections and inadequacies?
I have been so afraid the answer will be no one… so afraid that I’ve put up walls and guarded myself in order to keep anyone from seeing those things. Often I manage the way I looked to others in order to keep their favor and love – that’s hard! Sadly, I had no idea how hard it was because it’s all I knew. I’m so thankful that Jesus has walked me carefully, slowly out of that and into the truth of how He sees me. I’m thankful He has revealed the misconceptions I held and the foggy lens through which I saw the world. He loves me for me! He made me exactly this way; with all the gifts and imperfections. He made me for community... which means He intends my gifts to benefit others and my weaknesses as an opportunity for someone else’s gifts.
This song also spurred this thought: Through which lens am I loving my kids? My clear lens that knows imperfections have a purpose or my old distorted lens that believes obedience and perfection are more loveable. Will I love my kids as Jesus does: Perfectly in their imperfections because He has made them or for what they have done today or for who I am hoping they will become? I want to model this correct thinking for my kids so they will grow up without shame from their mistakes.
I want to share a podcast with you from the God Centered Mom. She speaks with Karis Kimmel Murray about her book, Grace-Based Discipline. About 20 minutes into their conversation she explains parenting like a first-responder and something called the basket method. This is a practice of picturing the behaviors of your children as giant weights hanging from them. She then pictures removing them, placing them in a basket, and coming back to picture them again without those behaviors. Clearing all the behaviors allows you to see their heart and view them as God does. It’s good! Go take a listen. I like to journal, so this week I’m going to practice this basket method by drawing it in my journal. I might put a basket in my house, write out their behaviors, and put them in the basket. I want to practice physically separating the behaviors of my kiddos from who they are so I can love them for them.