If you’ve spent any time around the topic of mental and emotional wellness, you’ve probably heard of “coping skills”. Some people get frustrated by the idea of coping skills, stating that they don’t “fix” anything. I try to remind my clients that coping skills are like water or oxygen… just because we drink some water right now doesn’t mean we won’t need more later - at least in these earthly bodies! Coping skills are meant to be in-the-moment helpers, and their ongoing use over time can help us better manage the way we feel, or the way we react to certain situations. But they are *a* tool, and not usually *the* solution.
That being said, here are a set of anxiety coping skills that I teach clients, and how I believe God created us to use them. Even if you are not a person who struggles with anxiety, using these “noticing” techniques can be a great way to center yourself and practice calm in God’s presence.
Using Our Five Senses
In our busy, modern world, we sometimes overlook the simple things. As we access our five senses, we can notice the world around us in the moment. For the anxious person, checking in with these senses can help anxieties and worries grow quieter. Maybe the worries don’t go away, but at least for a few moments, we notice them dimming just a bit. With practice and ongoing use, these can become powerful tools not only to sustain us through anxious moments, but also to reconnect with the God who created us, through the things he created for us.
Sight: What can you see around you? Notice the colors. Notice the lighting. Is it bright? Are there shadows? What are the shapes you can see? Look for things God created…trees, plants, birds, the sky and clouds. Even if you are inside in a plain room with no windows, close your eyes and imagine an outdoor place you enjoy.
Smell: Our sense of smell is one of our strongest memory ties. The scent of sunscreen might remind us of the summer swimming pool or a beautiful beach. Rose-scented lotions bring me back to my grandmother’s bedroom, and her precious warm hugs.
Sound: What are sounds that you find calming? Maybe it’s music. Maybe it’s the absence of sound, enjoying some quiet. Maybe it’s background noise, like a fan running or sounds in nature and creation. These can all help soothe the soul.
Touch: Think about things you can touch, that your hands find soothing. Notice the texture of clothing, the texture of furniture. Imagine touching a soft blanket, or a smooth, cool table or countertop. Notice the sensation of cool or warm water running through your hands. Take the brief moments of hand-washing to allow yourself to breathe, to notice the feel of running water.
Taste: What flavors do you appreciate? Maybe it’s a soothing cup of hot tea, or great coffee, or a favorite meal. Maybe it’s the taste of something joyful from childhood, like a popsicle in the summertime. Taste and smell often go hand-in-hand, so when we find things that are soothing for us in one of these areas, we are often able to enjoy two sense-filled experiences at once.
Now…ready for the next level? As you experience these moments, allow yourself to take a calming breath, and as you exhale, thank God for the gift of that sense. Simple, right? You just combined two coping skills together - Noticing and Gratitude!
It is difficult for anxiety and gratitude to share the same space at the same time, and God has also wired us to experience joy as gratitude increases. But just like Noticing, it will take practice. Start with the little things!
God made his creation for our enjoyment, because he loves us. God also created us with these senses, to appreciate and enjoy the world he created. They’re like puzzle pieces that he always meant to fit together. And He’s our good and loving Father, so of course they can help us when we are anxious, too!
Karol White, LISW
Therapist, Counseling Services Manager
Kirkwood Community College
New Covenant Bible Church Member